SYMPTOMES OF LEARNED HELPLESSNESS-WHICH CAN BE OVERCOME!!
low self esteem,
impulsive self- destructive behavior, outburst of rage toward people you love,
drinking or drugging excessively,
nightmares,
feeling spacey, highly distracted, acting like a robot or even concerns that you have a ‘split’ personality. If you think you may have been traumatized and you want to
develop a more balanced and integrated sense of yourself, Active Understanding
can help. At Active Understanding, psychotherapy is designed to help you get
clearer about your past and stronger in the present. Through talk therapy,
EMDR, understanding your Internal Family System (all the different parts of
yourself), and recommending books and other resources on
the matter, Active Understanding
is a process that can help you become an expert at helping yourself cope with
life and realize more of your dreams.
Coping Strategies for dealing with Fear Anxiety and Panic
There are ways to cope with fear, to cope with change, that involve responsible behavior as well as constructive coping strategies. CBT teaches people to recognize when they are catastrophizing and to learn to break their thinking into parts, one thought at a time. This slows the racing fantasies, and protects the immune system from overwhelm. Psychoanalytic ideas can help people move beyond the defense of denial, that can help someone deal with reality in doses, an insight at a time, so they don't go into feelings of overwhelm which undermine the immune system.
---MY INFLUENCES---
I have had so much help over the years from teachers, supervisors, analysts, friends and family. My father taught me about how complex personality can be and how one person can play a multitude of roles without even realizing it. My mother taught me that I could do almost anything I set my mind to do, and her faith in me was a gift. My undergraduate years in WV and NYC taught me to find my own way of understanding life, and to expand my horizons. Living in California acquainted me with the U of the Pacific and the use of behavior analysis- which empowered me to take risks in my personal and professional life. At the U of Northern Colorado I loved working with children in play therapy and with adults using psychodynamic, humanistic and group theories. My supervisor at the Northern Westchester Guidance Clinic in Mt Kisco, NY, Christine Masters, supported me as I treated children and adolescents with abuse histories, individually and in groups, and she also taught me to empathize with their parents.. Then NYC became my therapy home, and Albert Ellis, Paul Wachtel, Tony Bass, Jack O'Brien, Joyce Whitby, Lois Adler, Irwin Hirsch and Colette Linnihan-through their writings and their practices- helped me to become a more fully alive and integrated human being.
My mission is to promote understanding, acceptance and action-with regard to being the best you can be, growing older with confidence, transforming trauma into strength, and having more fun than fear along the way!
"When individuals reach old age, the aging stereotypes internalized in childhood, and then reinforced for decades, become self stereotypes that contribute to unnecessary and tragic emotional and cognitive decline"
Levy (2003)
My practice is also devoted to helping people become aware of
negative stereotypes about becoming older that then become activated with each
approaching birthday. During psychotherapy sessions we work to uncover and
replace those negative stereotypes with constructive and exciting (and factual)
alternatives. Like with trauma,
there is tremendous stigma in our culture about aging, that involves ignorance
and prejudice. This ignorance and prejudice contributes to depression, anxiety,
apathy and significant decline in healthy functioning that is absolutely
unnecessary and a tremendous loss for our culture as a whole.
“Trauma constantly confronts us with our fragility and with man’s inhumanity to man but also with our extraordinary resilience. I have been able to do this work for so long because it drew me to explore our sources of joy, creativity, meaning, and connection—all the things that make life worth living.”
Van der Kolk (2013)
Finally, my practice is devoted to helping people who feel that they are
doing okay, but not great, to learn new ways of understanding, accepting and
teaching themselves ‘new tricks’ so that their lives are filled with more fun
and more life, more adventures to look forward to, as opposed to merely ‘treading
water’ and waiting passively for something better (like a job, a love affair, winning the
lottery) to come along.
"We may have to work harder, take more risks, and even accept failure when we move out of our safe beta hiding place. It has to be worth it for us to change - but the rewards can be great."
Cozolino (2015)
My Influences
I am so fortunate to have
been taught, supervised and analyzed by the best professionals in both cognitive
and behavior therapy, as well as interpersonal and relational psychoanalysis.
Paul Wachtel PhD, in his
groundbreaking book Psychoanalysis
and Behavior Therapy (1977;1997) paved the way for myself and an entire
generation of therapists to
consider the possibility
of working ‘integratively’.
I am very grateful to him for introducing
such a radical and creative ‘paradigm shift’ in the field of mental health.
The late Martin Gipson, Ph.D. at the University of the
Pacific was an amazing mentor in Applied Behavior Analysis and introduced me to Paul Wachtel’s book PSYCHOANALYSIS
AND BEHAVIOR THERAPY.
Juan Ramirez, Ph.D. at the University of Northern Colorado,
faithfully supported me during my doctoral dissertation on aggression
in young boys, and my research interests in feminist behavior therapy.
In New York the late Albert Ellis, Ph.D. gave me my first
job and co wrote WHY AM I ALWAYS BROKE: HOW TO BE SANE ABOUT MONEY with me,
which to this day is still an excellent resource for people wanting to apply
principles of cognitive behavior therapy to their financial lives.
At MANHATTAN INSTITUTE FOR
PSYCHOANALYSIS I was very lucky.
Joyce Whitby, LCSW introduced me to the practice of psychoanalysis and was
wonderfully supportive during this
fascinating journey. Lois Adler, PhD was my first
analytic supervisor and taught me very honestly about transference and countertransference. Nick Papouchis PhD was an
excellent role model for asking
questions with a gentle touch. Jack O'Brien, LCSW, introduced me in an experiential way to the important ideas of Larry Epstein, PhD and Hyman Spotnitz, MD. Tony Bass PhD, editor extraordinaire of the award winning journal
PSYCHOANALYTIC DIALOGUES, introduced me to Relational Psychoanalysis in both theory
and in practice. Irwin Hirsch,
PhD, one of the founders of Manhattan Institute, through his many
writings, as well as intensive group supervision, has inspired me,
especially through his award
winning book COASTING IN THE
COUNTERTRANSFERENCE: CONFLICTS OF SELF INTEREST BETWEEN ANALYST AND PATIENT.
From an intensive trauma related perspective, I want to acknowledge the help I have received from my supervisors and colleagues at the Integrative Trauma Treatment Clinic at the National Institute for the Psychotherapies, (NIP) in New York City. In particular I want to thank Colette Linnihan, LCSW, an accomplished psychoanalyst/psychotherapist and an expert on attachment issues, who has provided me with invaluable guidance regarding the use of EMDR and IFS (Internal Family Systems) in the treatment of trauma.
I also want to thank Mark Sehl, PhD for his demonstrated expertise in modern psychoanalysis. His training and supervision group for therapists has taught me a lot.
Thomas Ogden’s (2005) passion
for and interest in the process of dreaming resonates with my own. His belief that the patient “comes into
being in the process of dreaming his lived emotional experience” serves as a guiding light for my work as a psychoanalyst.
Wilfred Bion (1959) believed that the process of thinking is emotionally painful, that change often feels catastrophic, and that,
therefore, “it requires two minds to think one’s most disturbing thoughts.” His theories of how psychoanalysis
heals have been extremely helpful.
Intellectually and
emotionally, Louis Cozolino, PhD has
inspired me with his vast knowledge about aging (THE HEALTHY AGING BRAIN -2008). I have quoted him multiple times throughout this website and
I think his ideas about social status and mental health, in his book WHY
THERAPY WORKS, 2015, should be
required reading for all therapists.
In terms of research, Becca Levy, PhD has published a number
of rigorous and innovative studies
on the negative effects of
prejudice, particularly age stereotyping.
She and her colleagues offer all of us hope that one day becoming older will be,
for the most part, a seamless and satisfying journey towards wholeness.
Personally, I want to thank my family for supporting my
interest in psychology, particularly my brother Burt for being such a courageous advocate for knowledge, and my sister Chris for her constant support and faith in me as
I wrote my first book, and my sister Nancy for her loving support while we were growing up. More immediately, I thank my friend and colleague Christine Masters,
PhD and my nephew John and his wife Bonnie, for being so supportive of my
desire to highlight issues of
aging and trauma in this website.
And last but not least, I
sincerely thank my nephew Christopher Hunter, MFA, a
gifted artist and a partner at 828:design in Asheville NC. for designing
all the beautiful words and images that you see here.
