Is being vulnerable considered a weakness or strength??
Do you know people who are able to say something about themselves that touches you, and draws you to them? Usually, but not always, it's something they say about being vulnerable, human, not in control or far from perfect. I remember a super intelligent person once said to me, n a meeting, that he wasn't feeling all that sharp that morning, he was feeling a little slow, and i immediately felt better. He had said something I could relate to, and it put both of us at ease. On the other hand, do you know people who say something about themselves that indicates they have accomplished a lot, they are proud of themselves, they have achieved some kind of victory.?? That is a person demonstrating mastery, and it is not always bad, not at all. but it can put up a divider between the two of you ,rather than join you together. Sometimes intimacy and feeling close, can trigger anxiety, and the anxious person begins to boast, show off, demonstrate mastery in some domain, as a way to share themselves. But is it really themselves they are sharing, or a performance in place of what their deeper feelings are? Sometimes I think it's a way to prove themselves, or to turn the other person into an audience rather than a close and fellow vulnerable person, just like them.
There has been a lot written about gender differences in this regard, and how women are uncomfortable exposing anything but weakness, e.g."I am horrible at technology" and men are uncomfortable exposing anything but strength "Here I can help you with that, I have been working with computers since 19??"nnHopefully nowadays that has changed, but i do believe toxic masculinity, where exposing vulnerability and deep feelings, is devalued, and only facts, and studied indifference, aloofness and sometimes almost contempt, is seen as attractive, or 'cool' still rules the day.
Brene Brown wrote about vulnerability in 2010, and she was loved for this. She said: “You are responsible for the energy you bring into this room.”― Brené Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage and she also said “The origin of the word "courage" comes from the word "cour", which mean heart, and it means to completely share your story with your whole heart.”
So is being vulnerable considered a weakness or a strength? Great question. I think it depends on who you are talking with, what your values are, and what your objective is. Do you want to feel close to someone? Vulnerability might be a quality that could help you there; Do you want to impress someone and keep the person at a distance in order to stay safe, in control" You might avoid vulnerability and perform. Performing rather than feeling and being is very popular, especially when someone is feeling insecure. But being vulnerable, difficult and scary as it can be, requiring 'courage, heart and exposure, might create life long bonds that keep you warm for years. Having allies in this difficult world makes everything a little less lonely
